“My depression is a shapeshifter. One day it is as small as a firefly in the palm of a bear, the next it’s the bear. On those days, I play dead until the bear leaves me alone.” ~ Sarbrina Benaim
It is said that 350 million people worldwide suffer from depression. This quote is by far the best explanation of this brain disorder that I have ever heard. The reason being is that I suffer from it as well. Mine stemmed from things never said, hugs never given, and tears never cried. My favorite life getaways were movies, music, and alcohol. With those tools, I could keep myself glued together. You might be saying “Oh Garry, that’s terrible” and there was a time that it was, but something happened me. That something was the acceptance of my depression. You’re probably thinking now, “Why or How?” The why is that in my heart of hearts, life isn’t meant to be lived like a helpless victim, and my how is inspired by the incredible Hulk.
Using one of my getaways I watched “The Avengers” and two scenes hit home for me. Bruce Banner (Hulk) was asked by a fellow Avenger how he controlled his anger. His answer was simple, “I am always angry”. At that point in time I was always sad, but if the Bruce could control anger, I could control my sadness. To grow I had to leave my past like a lobster leaves his shell. Leaving the past meant writing letters, text messages, and emails to the people and situations that had left me speechless. Accepting the fact that I would never get to hug certain people ever again and tearing down the damn of hurt inside to cry those tears.
If depression was a season it would be Winter. As much as people dislike the Winter, it is necessary part of the seasons. During those times, choose to be a snowboarder about to hit life’s slopes and the obstacles you fear. Do not let depression make you a bear that hibernates for the entire season. I’m thankful for my depression because it allowed me to tap into my superpower. As a speaker and poet, when I am saddened by negative experiences in my life, I gain contentment. This is because I know people can relate to my words and better connect to their emotions. Take your power back! It’s ok to be depressed, hurt, angry, or sad. Once you’re aware of what emotion is controlling you, you can own and control it. Do that and you will have the power to transform into someone incredible.